Church Signs


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 Some churches are more fun than others. 
 Believe it or not, these actually appeared in various church bulletins:       
                                                                               
 1.  This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and                   
     north ends of the church.  Children will be baptised at both              
     ends.                                                                     
                                                                               
 2.  Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social.  All                    
     ladies giving milk, come early.                                           
                                                                               
 3.  Wednesday the ladies liturgy society will meet.  Mr.                      
     Johnson will sing, "Put Me In My Little Bed," accompanied by              
     the pastor.                                                               
                                                                               
 4.  Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the little                     
     mothers club.  All ladies wishing to be little mothers                    
     please meet with the pastor in his study.                                 
                                                                               
 5.  This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to                     
     come forward and lay an egg at the alter.                                 
                                                                               
 6.  The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water".                      
     One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the                  
     congregation will join in.                                                
                                                                               
 7.  On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray                   
     the expenses of the new carpet.  All those wishing to do                  
     something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of              
     paper.                                                                    
                                                                               
 8.  The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every                  
     kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday                
     afternoon.                                                                
                                                                               
 9.  A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the                     
     church basement.  Music will follow.                                      
                                                                               
 10.  The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce                     
      the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs.                 
      Julius Belzer.                                                           
                                                                               
 11.  Tonights sermon:  What is hell?  Come early and listen                   
      to our choir practice.                                                   
                                                                               
 12.  For those of you who have children and don't know it,                    
      we have a nursery downstairs.                                            
                                                                               
 13.  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church                   
      and community.                                                           
                                                                               
 14.  Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.                         
                                                                               
 15.  Don't let worry kill you off -- let the church help.                     
                                                           

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