-- 47 Facts about Women --

          
Facts about Women 
  1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where
     they feel like they're actually in control. 
  2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is 
     irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale 
     is fair game. 
  3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of
     clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand". 
  4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know 
     you can hear them.    
  5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in 
     an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. 
  6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a 
     need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say. 
  7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.        
     That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful. 
  8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more 
     physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that 
     the man *wants* to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need. 
  9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when 
     there's a spider or a wasp involved. 
 10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. 
     And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only 
     tell two or three people. 
 11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a 
     chance to gossip. 
 12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what 
     she's doing. It might be the lottery calling. 
 13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that 
     they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch. 
 14. Women think all beer is the same. 
 15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners 
     in the shower. 
 16. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical 
     rain forest. 
 17. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment 
     that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that 
     reminds them of how horrible things *could* be. 
 18. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of 
     clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a 
     seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know 
     what she'll feel like wearing each day. 
 19. Women brush their hair *before* bed. 
 20. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good 
     idea about how she'll be in bed. 
 21. Women are paid less than men, except for Modeling. 
 22. Women are *never* wrong. Apologizing is the mans responsibility, 
     "It's there in the bible". hmmm who was it that gave Adam the apple? 
 23. Women do *not* know anything about cars. "Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?"
 24. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. 
 25. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. 
     A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 
 26. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, 
     men kick cats. 
 27. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend 
     for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend 
     and they will talk for three hours. 
 28. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the 
     garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. 
 30. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of 
     getting lost using a shortcut. 
 31. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?' 
 32. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think 
     it means that. PMS also stands for Punish My Spouse. 
 33. The first naked man woman see is "Ken". 
 35. Women are insecure about their weight, butt and breast-size. 
 36. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand 
     turn 
 37. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language 
     than it does in man-language. 
 38. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women. 
 39. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the 
     direction that they are heading. 
 40a All women are overweight by definition, don't argue with them about it. 
 40b All women are overweight by definition, don't agree with them about it. 
 41. If it is not Valentines day, and you see a man in a flower shop, 
     you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?" 
 42. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be 
     let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those 
     rights. 
 43. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good 
     china". 
 44. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy 
     toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the 
     lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. 
     (which gets them in more trouble) 
 45. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer 
     taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out 
     because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and 
     lowering it themselves. 
 46. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men 
     arrested. 
 47. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite 
     claims to the contrary. You don't see womens trampling over Tom 
     Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried do you?